Some of you may remember me from before (previous poster NewPathRJ). I had a thread here several months ago, then I bounced into 'Separated' for awhile. I look forward to getting to know everyone here. I was on the boards a lot in 2003-2004 too, during a prior S. But now as my D is nearing final stages- I'm back here and in a better state of mind. In my sitch, I moved 2,000 miles away from my stbx to start a new life and live near my family (6 months ago). It's helped me a lot, nonetheless the D path is not easy. And I'm still trying to secure a new job (something will come through soon-fingers crossed!) I've gone through several interviews, come in as a finalist and but don't get the jobs. Anyhow, I keep applying- my job sitch is probably more of a stress than the D at this point- lol. I'm staying with family, but I really want to be in my own place again, of course. At first it was 'Act as if' but I feel more and more that my life is ok and that I have not "lost" anything. The only thing I have "lost" is an undesirable person who was not there for me time and time again. I still have all the love and the sense of home and family that I value inside of me. No one can ever take that away from you. Wow, I should highlight that and put that up on my wall!
I have a preliminary hearing Monday(via phone), and then a final hearing date will be set for my D. Been separated 2,000 miles from stbx for several months, so I think I've hit the acceptance stage about this D. For a long time, I agonized over it- thought I could possibly even try to work things out again since I moved(previous threads in sep)- but I'm past that now. I needed to stop blaming myself and know it was ok to "give up".(Even though stbx gave up a long time ago). To know, that yes I obviously committed myself 110% to this M for a long time and stbx didn't. Stbx first talked about a D a year after we were married in 1997(when he had EA), then stbx wanted a D back in 2004 which led to our 1st separation. In a nutshell, I have been through %#$$% with him for so long. I just kept hanging on. Finally, I think I know and realize what a decent person I am and that stbx is not a loss to me. I've met a lot of new people and am making new friends. My new city is so much nicer than where I was living. Onward for me.
Stbx thinks we're "friends" and staying in touch but he's acting nothing like a "friend" to me. He doesn't care about my life or my perspective. He's been somewhat argumentative and hard to communicate with throughout the whole D process. He acts like a hard negotiator toward me and then tries to demand unreasonable things from me like maintenance payments (ridiculous since I have no job currently and last year our incomes were not considerably different) I think he's scared of never hearing from me again like I died, but that's about it. Our conversations are not anything like the ones I have with my "friends". The friendship thing is a joke. Whatever.
DBer since 2003 D - 3/24/09 GAL and DBing for myself
I was on the boards a lot in 2003-2004 too, during a prior S. But now as my D is nearing final stages- I'm back here and in a better state of mind. In my sitch, I moved 2,000 miles away from my stbx to start a new life and live near my family (6 months ago). It's helped me a lot, nonetheless the D path is not easy. And I'm still trying to secure a new job (something will come through soon-fingers crossed!) I've gone through several interviews, come in as a finalist and but don't get the jobs. Anyhow, I keep applying- my job sitch is probably more of a stress than the D at this point- lol. I'm staying with family, but I really want to be in my own place again, of course. At first it was 'Act as if' but I feel more and more that my life is ok and that I have not "lost" anything. The only thing I have "lost" is an undesirable person who was not there for me time and time again. I still have all the love and the sense of home and family that I value inside of me. No one can ever take that away from you. Wow, I should highlight that and put that up on my wall! 
