Jayce's thread

[Jayce]

Lucky,
Thanks for the good reply. I'm not optimistic because adding up stuff I knew before I started all this last year and stuff I've learned from the hip-high pile of books I've read since last June hasn't gotten my H one tiny step into 'getting it' about intimacy. We've had conversations, ML more often, had emotional blow-ups and meltdowns, even a couple small breakthroughs but to him the whole thing is still evidently just a big headache and he has no intention of doing any self-exploration.

The gut shot from the book was the part where the choice is to have sex more often or be divorced. He told me last summer that I needed to be committed to a mental institution because I thought it would be great to have sex twice in one day. He said he's never done that in his life (no surprise). And, of course, he wanted a divorce. He'd already threatened divorce if I just wanted to ML once a week.

He's scared shitless is my guess. Whenever he needs to avoid answering any question (about anything, not only sex), it's always "You're trying to psychoanalyze me" as if its the worst thing anyone can do. I've always wondered just how bad whatever is in his mind really is if he's that afraid to express it.

Whatever-I just know I'm tired of his making me feel this bad. You'd think at some point he'd wake up and try to be a big boy. He'll never feel remorse, I don't think, unless he outlives me. I know Superman won't fly down and give him a head slap.

Thanks again,
Jayce