I've been thinking... You're in crisis mode right now, so most of your posts are written from a stance of what you're doing to navigate this awful time.
Are you able to take a moment to think about what YOU want? If it is your wife, can you articulate what it is about her that makes you want HER?
My point is... Sometimes on this journey, we discover that we've been focused on being loved and having someone "complete" us. And we discover that we have so much to mend within ourselves because no one is responsible to make you whole or happy but you.
For some reason, your wife feels justified in taking this new path (the wrong path, most of us would say). From your seat (and, frankly, from mine), it is horrible, brutal, cruel. She doesn't see that she is horrible, brutal, cruel. She's gone through many, many steps of convincing herself why it's OK. The number one green light for her was likely your refusal to participate in counseling.
If you truly love THIS ONE WOMAN, it is never too late, no matter how far down the path she goes. I truly believe that.
So, for now, can you please validate your love for her? Why, exactly, is she THE ONE. This will help you and all of us fuel up to root for you in your quest to win her back, despite the injustice that you are suffering.
And then, Dr. H, can you please validate why you are THE ONE for her? That will, I hope, give you a minute of feeling worthy, and it just might uncover obstacles having to do with your self.
You don't have to do these things if you're not in the mood. I'm just hoping you'll take a minute away from your (JUSTIFIED) rage so you can draw a picture of your perceptions right now.
Please hang in there. I cannot imagine your pain right now. My heart goes out to you.
