Coward indeed! I guess that's why he's in MLC, though--I understand that all men approaching middle age go through a process where they have to grieve the ways in which their lives didn't live up to their expectations, and come to terms with who they really are. After this they are wiser, gentler, changed. The men who are terrified to confront themselves are the ones who turn a period of mild depression into a crisis. But what a rotton reason to start a relationship!
I hear you on the "we grew apart" line. Just think what a position of power you're in, now that you know which lines are danger signals! Wouldn't it be nice to find a guy who could give you an honest assessment of his mistakes in his previous relationship? Though, this site does give you hope that such guys do exist.
I'm sure your H's wardrobe will suffer from not having your input! What you say about how you care for your guy is interesting; did you ever read "The 5 Love Languages?" This book posits that there are 5 ways of showing or receiving love. I'm guessing yours would be "Acts of Service." The trick is to find out what makes your partner feel loved, as well as to ensure that he gives you what you need. So theoretically, how to care for someone has to be tailored to the person. I'm guessing if your H wasn't good at giving his S the kind of attention he preferred, he wasn't so good at picking up on love language clues?
You say you gave your H a lot of freedom. Did you let him know when you would have preferred to spend time with him instead of him doing his own thing? How would you have preferred things to have been, instead of him creating a life without you? (Not that I think your sister is completely right, because I don't think there was anything I could have done or said to stop my H from doing the same thing, once he was on the MLC path--his urge to avoid us & change things around was just too strong. I just wish I could have been less angry when he kept drifting further away--for my own sake.)
So, what's the weather brought for you today--a balmy -15C or something?
