WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 4

[confusedinpa]

I had a good session with my therapist/our marriage counselor. She pretty much thinks that my wife can't let go of her hurt/abandoment/anger with me just like it was with her father.

My therapist doesn't think it makes any sense why she doesn't/can't let go of the hurt and try love.

We have our marriage counseling session on Monday. I'm not sure if my wife will go, but if she does, my therapist wants to try and get her to talk about letting go of hurt (or at least understand why she doesn't/can't).

My therapist did say that she feels that while we had a nuturing, caring and loving marriage, it did not feel like it was a passionate partnership. That's why she doesn't see the anger/rage that is coming from either one of us.

I guess the bottom line is that she agrees that if my wife wants to hold on to hurt/anger/resentment, my wife will never be able to actually make the marriage work.

Since there is nothing that I can do about that, my therapist echoed what others have said here as well. Focus on myself and continue to make sure I'm ok so I can still be the father I need to be for my sons.