Yo stillloveshim , if you were my wife ( thank God your not ) , what would make you want to turn things around ?
What? You don't want to be married to me???? That's messed up Man! Just kidding. I think I know what you mean.
I have to believe your wife is a good mother no matter what's happened. I haven't read anything from you to indicate otherwise. I think what this is doing to the kids weighs on her. If it doesn't, she's not human.
I think if given some time and some hard proof from my husband that he was sincere in wanting to save it, I would want too. If she believes she has to spend the rest of her life with the old you, the one who didn't care she was unhappy, then of course she wants to bolt. But if you could bring back parts of the old you, the one she fell in love with and maybe mixed with some new exciting you that she can spend some time getting know, that could do it. It maybe time for a grand gesture. Tell her you will drop the charges if she signs off on stopping the divorce.
I meant that in her mind frame and immoral actions you wouldn't want to be that kind of person . She has always been a good mother . I believe the OM is still around but cannot verify since I'm out of the house . We will be divorced in 2-3 months . She will not be able to see any change in me since we don't see each other . Most of the people on this board still live together , not my wife and I .
I knew exactly what you meant so no worries. Not being able to see each other is difficult. But here is the other thing to think about: The relationship is forever when you have kids. Lay low. Let her work this out for her. Do what you need to do for you right now. Maybe in a few weeks suggest family night. That's great for the kids to see you two getting along. Start small. You still have time. Create your plan of attack and I think the first thing is to let it all go.....then figure out how you can see her more often so she can see the new you with a new relaxed sensual side. Make her think "I don't want anyone else to have that! That's mine!"
I don't hae any words of wisdom to offer you yet, just wanted to say Hi, and know you're on my mind. We are going through rough times, I hope it works out for what's best.
Last edited by 2gthrButApart; 03/04/0906:29 PM.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
Yo stillloveshim , my wife doesn't want to " see " me at all . I've only seen her twice in 7 month and that was in court . She made the decision to detach prior to 6/14/08 then did what she did and just doesn't want to see or have anything to do with me or my family . Maybe like you stated before she's ashamed , maybe not and she is just really moving on . Thoughts . I wish I had 3 wishes .
What would you do with the three wishes? I think you have every right to contact her and ask if there could be a family night. Tell her just the one, to see how things go and take it from there. I have friends who's parents HATED each other and it sucked for my friends. The big events these friends would stress over the possible conflicts. But I had other friends who's parents got along and maybe it was just for the kids, but those friends were a lot more relaxed during those big events. Ask her, see what she says. And make the first event a simple maybe one or two hour deal.
