If you are not ready to get D, then why are you? Why do you have to go through with it now even though you filed? Is there no way to adjourn? Are you required by law to go through with it now? Again, unless you are more sure that you want the D than unsure, then by all means go ahead. Otherwise, what's the rush?
I do think though that if you do adjourn that you should not tell your H that you put it off to work on the M. Let that be between you and your L. Also, I would advise putting off the D only if you will try to do something different. You said that once you are D that you will do everything to do N/C with him, then why not try that before the D? You will have to do it anyway when you get D so why not do a dress rehearsal first? It would make it easier to do NC after the D anyway.
Just a thought.
And yes, it's crazy how as a society we do not value marriage even more. People are able to enter and exit marriages so easily - no training, no counseling. I read somewhere that it is easier to get married than it is to become a plummer. Crazy. As a society we have little morals and family values so its no wonder our spouses are so cavalier about marriage too.
