I think you are getting there. I also think the session sounds like it went great. It was good to keep your mouth shut about what you know about the EA. And speaking of which....that is going to die on it's own. Let that explode after it implodes. I do not believe your wife is really interested in this kid, this chump. But remember, he was there for her when she was upset and he needed her guidance. Basically, like my husband's ex-OW from his EA, this chump was there for her EMOTIONALLY and the chump needed your wife's help. That's a wonderful thing for someone who feels unheard and un-needed. Keep the faith that like my husband, your wife is going to see this kid as what he is, a kid who helped her over a rough patch, made her feel good about herself. This week, huge break through with H and his EA. He said "Any delusions related to that are done and over and dead." Remember this: You are more man than this kid. You are the father of her children. You are smart and a hard worker who provides for his family. You beat this guy, hands down. You know this and soon you're wife will remember all of this and think "WTF was I thinking?" But you have to give her reason to have that epiphany. Brandnewday told me "Give him a reason to want to come home." Goes for you too. For me, my DB coach and my therapist said the same thing: Let him know the bridge home is not broken, burned or destroyed. If my H has any concerns I'm always going to bring up the past.....well, who wants to deal with that, ESPECIALLY if he agrees, he was wrong. No one wants to be reminded of their mistakes. I know I don't. I would also keep all of this under wraps. If the in-laws ask again, tell them All is well. Maybe even bring it up to your wife. Tell her "You and I need a united front on this one. So when your parents ask you or me we need to tell them the same thing.....what do you want that to be? I suggest "All is well." And leave it at that." Get her back into "Team" mode. And keep listening to Sandi!!
