Even if you feel you are 100% right, suck it up and say You know what, I think you're right. Maybe they do need someone on their backs until they break out of the laziness. Even if you don't 100% believe what you are saying, it shows your H that his opinion matters to you.
Hi. I realize if you're new to this site, you haven't been able to follow my particular situation....which has been ongoing for some time. I think you give good advice...for some sitches, when arguing just becomes a matter of habit, perhaps.
But I actually shared that particular story for a reason. This is the ongoing battle cry from my H and his parents and the rest of their enmeshed family...for my entire marriage. Everyone who doesn't do what they say, how they say, when they say, without any opinions of their own...is "lazy." My husband was told last summer that he wasn't pulling his weight at the family company or taking care of our property...while he was going through radiation treatment for cancer. That's "lazy" in his family.
My H's worldview is that it is his DUTY to change people into what he wants them to be. That is "helping"...that is "love." Listening, empathizing or actually helping them by doing what they ASK is just...unheard of. We have been going around and around about this for over a year. Last spring he seemed to finally "hear" me. Then he got sick. Now he's well. Now it's the same old same old.
So. This IS our battle. This story I told is just illustrating the way he looks at EVERYTHING. That other people have the right and duty to nag, control, complain, and criticize to make the person in question be how they want them to be.
Unless it's him. He can do whatever he wants.
Anyway, I do appreciate you trying to help. But I think my marriage is already ruined.
