Moved out to apartment, WAW moved back to house

[MrNiceGuy]

Two weeks ago (2/27), wife checks into hotel to 'take a break' from being a wife, feeling too much pressure to be the activities director of the family and show enthusiasm for every aspect of our family. After being beaten down by some work politics a few years ago I lost my enthusiasm for life and struggled to regain my footing.

The first week was horrific, losing 7 pounds, and crying every day. I realized I was going through withdrawals from a dependent relationship.

A friend of hers mistakenly stated "her Edward" in a conversation we were having. I didn't catch it at first, until time got the better of me and I realized Edward is a reference to the Twilight character that is super-attractive and super-alluring. I then started to connect the dots. My wife had been telling me about this guy at work that was nervous about getting married to his fiance soon and that she thought he was out of his fiance's league, practically an 'Edward'. Furthermore, she encouraged him to not settle and he was actually considering breaking off the engagement. She has done this type of 'encouraging' to a few of her friends with limited success. I may be reading more into this than is reality, but the timing is unusually close - perhaps simply taking her own advice finally to leave me.

Since she left, we've had contact every couple of days to share time with our son. I could tell in her eyes she didn't believe a word I was telling her about acquiring Zoloft and doing more to get out of the house and re-learn to have fun in life. She finally told me that she planned to get an apartment (which made me think of the 'Edward' situation again - albeit only guessing).

I painted a smile on my face rather than beg and plead and started to go to find some things I can enjoy. A few days ago we had a very upbeat talk that suggested there was a chance for us if we both immerse ourselves in ourselves - learning how to have fun again, learning how to communicate better (we very rarely fought), acquire new friends, become more active, and possibly find a fun hobby. The thought was that it would take a couple of months, at least, to do a 180. We also share the opinion (based on mutual friends' experiences) that counseling can be more harm than helpful.
All the same, I suggested I get the apartment instead and she took me up on it. After a very depressing search for junk apartments I could afford, I landed a great roommate situation in a nice place. I'm self employed (as of 2 years ago), so my income doesn't compare to my wife's and it will be difficult -- especially with house payments and such. I expect our savings to deplete by the end of the year.

For me, I'm trying very hard to GAL, but it's very hard to adjust. Every morning I keep thinking I'm going to wake up from a long nightmare. My son is finally starting to understand what is going on and finally cried in my lap about me moving out and missing both his dad and mom. Man, that really hurts, which makes me both angry at my wife for not communicating better to me and angry at myself for not driving my own happiness the past few years and creating an unenjoyable marriage for her. I've focused on being a great dad and making sure that my son and I laugh every time we are with each other - telling him that I love him and that his is something mom and dad have to work out and is not is fault.

It's time for my 180!

As to my Edward theory, I haven't mentioned it to anyone, including my wife, and feel that it would be better for her to 'play it out' to see if there is something there or if it's just lust (affair). My heart hurts everyday as I love her and miss her very much, but my head and what I've read in this forum tells me I need to focus on reinventing myself to be an attractive and fun man once again.

I can do this. I am better than this. I can do this.