2009 - The Craziness Continues

[lost_in_space]

(((Tawnya))) I think each side has "great" theme songs!!! And yes, I am going to get "Never Believe" tatooed somewhere - maybe inside my eyelids so I never forget!

A more comprehensive update from Monday's meeting (as sent to my L):

Talked about the bank situation. I have signed papers for a $xxK mortgage backed line of credit to pay off joint credit card, existing line of credit and bank account related line of credit. W not yet been able to get there yet she was the one pushing. W asked if $x,xxx was going to stay on line of credit re chequing account (overdraft protection). I indicated that I had not yet discussed this with the bank. W wants it to stay because she has no confidence there will be cash there when she writes a cheque or tries to use debit card. I mentioned that maybe should check that there actually is cash there before trying to use account. W got aggressive saying there is definitely cash there, has always been and our expenses haven't changed. Implication once again is that I am hiding money.

Agenda basically lost next when I said that I no longer was supportive of listing the house and I wanted to buy her out. W not in favour of that even though mediator thought it was good for W since she would get cash sooner (and W suggested it to me and the k's in the past). Some comments that followed:

* "I have $xxx of my parents' money in that house and he is not getting it."

* "The kids have always wanted the house to be sold." (I later indicated that 1 of our kids was indifferent and 2 wanted the house to be kept.)

* "I have been in the house with the kids for 15 years (13.5 but who's counting) and have been their primary caregiver."

* "Other than mediation, you do not talk to me much at all." [Truth to this; unfortunately after she moved out of house with kids, after accusations made to others and the outburst at the mediation meeting on Feb 13, I am not feeling any urge to discuss anything outside the meetings at this point; I see nothing but greed and selfishness on her side.]

* Wants to revisit 50/50 custody and residency. (Implication is she wants more! )

* Not sure about selling vacation property. When I asked about helping fund the payments, answer was "no, nothing agreed to."

* W asked about my conversation with good family friends (the people that provided funding for the vacation property and who I visited recently). When I asked which one she wanted to know about funding. I said that "as I said before, they want their money back."

* "I want to be involved in major decisions" but when asked what she has not been involved with she had no answers.

* I asked for the newer, larger vehicle to be left at house for whoever has kids; not willing to do as not part of "deal". I asked for her bank account # so payments could come from there - NO. Then she said "I know you have been to the dealership to move the vehicle off of lease." (JOKE!!! Never done any such thing and as far as I know it cannot be done without paying all remaining lease payments.) [Side note - even S14 suggested to me that the vehicle stay at the house - even he is more rational than W...]

* "I have compromised and given all the time. No more. I don't even have a bedroom (WHY??? When I am not here, what is the problem? HER CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!) and I am being asked to give up a vehicle that I have driven for 2 years (actually 17 months and for which I pay 100% of costs)". I mentioned that I am tired of being taken for a ride to which she replied "like I have done that for 18 years, spending $xxK per year on myself."

* "This is my choice but it is not a life sentence."


All in all, back to square 1. As I see it, entitlement attitude reigns. Trying to get as much from this as she possibly can.

One more thing. She has started to work but not exactly full time. As far as I know it is a job with hours from 9 - 3.