It's Not Like on T.V.

[AnotherNightmare]

So today I get, "Can you do me a favor and pick up my dry cleaning?"

So where's my choice? Say "no" to establish boundaries and be accused of being an a** or deliberately difficult by "just trying to make everything as hard as it can be" (a favorite), or say "yes" because I've done it all along but would therefore still be less of a partner?

With everything you do, the main question you have to ask yourself is "Does it improve my situation?" So if you feel better picking up the dry cleaning, do it. If not, tell her you do not have time to do it, you are busy doing something, find whatever excuse you can come up with. This is all about you. So do not try to pay her back. It makes you feel better, too, but it is short-term.

Sometimes it is not easy to really listen to yourself, your needs, your interests. Practice that, and it will help you in the long run.

If she makes that comment about trying to make things harder, tell her that you are trying to do the right thing for youself. Leave it at that.