So.H's cousin and wife were over. They were telling me some stories about how interfering/controlling C's mom can be (H's aunt)...she calls them on the weekend to make sure they are "being responsible" and getting up when they "should", and just weird stuff like that. And it was mostly a funny conversation..just talking about mother-inlaw stuff...
Well H missed part of it because he was gone. So the next night, he asked me how it all went, and I was telling him about the convo...and I was laughing about it, and I said, man, Aunt is crazy! I can't believe she calls them in the morning to see if they got up yet! [these people are 28 yrs old, married, living on their own, employed, and have a kid]
So he of course, as in every conversation, has to take the opposite view. And he's like, well there's two sides to every story. I'm like...there is no other side to a mom calling her adult children to monitor their daily behavior. That's just weird. And he's like yeah, but they're lazy sometimes. And I say...but they are ADULTS. It's THEIR LIFE. It's wildly inappropriate for her to tell them how to act, even if they ARE lazy, which who's to say that anyway. ["lazy" is the single worst thing you can say about a person in his family. Lazy is worse than...alcoholic, for instance, and their definition of "lazy" is ridiculous] And he says, see, you always take the side of the lazy slobs in this world, the small people, because you can't stand it when someone tells you what to do.
So he begins his lecture. The beginning goes something like this..."you listen to me for a minute...and maybe you can learn something about life."
His summary of this entire situation, which is explained to me as if I am three years old...(What I have learned about life is that this entire family is narcissistic and insane)
First of all, Aunt and Uncle are the parents....they don't LIKE the way cousin and wife are. Don't I get that? They are big liberals...and Aunt and Uncle don't like that. They are trying to change them....by hinting. Hello?? See...I can't stand that, because I don't want anyone to change me. Because I don't like him trying to change me into being a better worker.
Secondly...Cousin's W has parents. So of course, Aunt and Uncle are jealous of that. [wow]
Thirdly...Uncle has done a lot for us, for years. [this is very true, and I am very very appreciative of everything he's done for us and I've told him so many times]. What has Cousin's W ever done for me?? Nothing. So maybe I ought to take a step back and remember that...[so we do not agree or disagree with anyone based on what is right or wrong, just on what they've done for us] I am using VERY STRONG LANGUAGE. I am using the word "crazy." I have no right to call Aunt "crazy" when they've done things for us. [is anyone else thinking what I was thinking at this point?] Anyway, he told me that is NOT something I should ever say.
This all went on for a while...then I said, oh okay, so...it's really awful to call someone crazy? Because you tell me I am crazy, messed up in the head, psycho, have mental problems, sick in the head....at least once a week. I guess that means I haven't done enough for you? Because if I've done enough for you then you wouldn't be allowed to call me crazy. So..I'm crazy, I don't do enough for you, I'm on the side of all the lazy slobs in the world...so I'm basically not as good as your family...is that it?
And he nodded and said...there ya go.
So I walked out of the room. Then he came around later and tried to chat me up and I was like...whatever...and he yelled "Well I'm sorry you're so MISERABLE!" I thought, no you're not.
So I pretty much have nothing to say to him. Last night he was all buddy buddy...offered to take the kids to the country this weekend so I could have time for myself. Got up this morning and made a hot breakfast for everyone...told me he thought I should be the one who deals with S12 getting up in the mornings and going to bed at night, so he doesn't yell at him...("since you think I do that")...that that would be best for the family. I've noticed he's into using the phrase "the family" the last couple of days.
I'm just like, yeah, great, whatever you say. I just absolutely don't care anymore.
