Thank you for replying, my H hasn't left the house, and he has no idea how or if he can ever leave the house b/c he is in love with our daughters, and them w/ him. They are extremely close, and so he hasn't walked out on his family. In fact he has told me several times, he is not leaving his family, he is leaving ME. He never knew how to tell the girls, or he would have left in Dec when he really wanted to.
With resentment comes sacrcasm, jealousy, envy, nasty attitude. All te things I KNOW I WANT and NEED to change, b/c I don't want to be a nasty person, mom, wife.
I actually see him as being extremely strong, like smartcookie, he is unhappy in or marriage, and is in "pain" physical, mental, emotional, and yet he has remained in our house, putiing our daughters 1st, so that they are not effected. They still have NO IDEA. b/c things are so normal at home. All discussion happen when they are out of the home, or are asleep. That's why SC's post touched me so much, b/c I can now understand the type of pain he tells me he is in by being married.
I know I have changed, he admits he has too, and that's why my "tough girl" personality is no longer attractive to him. He is still very sexually attracted to me,meaning my looks, my body.
Being a SAHM I became resentful sometimes, b/c he'd tell me to go out w/ friends and GAL of my own, not to revolve my life around him and our girls all the time. But I felt guilty doing that, and I didn't. That's where resentment grew, b/c he did have a life of his own. I gave mine up willingly to some extent.
A physical seperation will not work for us, but I think this mental break, of no phyiscal Husban label helps. It's like a relief. We are actually getting along as friends. And you know what...we don't fight, you know why...Friends don't fight. You may have a disagreement, but no fighting. So hopefully with a seperation, living in the same home he can SEE my changes. And know that I and HE matter so much that I'm willing to better myself. I'm happy to change, and I hope and pray our M is saved
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
