Yes I would NOT have R talk. It is actually probably rule # 1.
When R gets talked about, unless you are both in total agreement, which you aren't, it will usually not turn out well. You are in C so I would wait until then because sometimes an impartial person will help "translate". Eventually, R talk will come when he is ready. If you push it, he will either be mean, say what he thinks you want to hear, or run. It is a form of pursuing.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
