Work on YOU! You don't need to tell her you're working on you, just DO IT.
Slap!
Thanks for the "wake up" slap
I know I need to keep focusing on me, but it seems tough when I see her getting more disconnected
My DB coach said that action leads to emotion. I don't see how moving to the spare bedroom will lead to any positive emotion.
I'm not letting it get me down, it's just confusing me as to what's the right play. Right now I'm continuing with my 180 and showing her the husband/marriage that she could have, not what she had in the past.
I'm still working on me - I have a therapist appointment today, I packed my gym bag and reconnected with a couple of more friends via facebook. I also contacted one of my local "safe" friends to plan some time to chat.
I'm home this morning with my youngest as he is sick. My wife is suppose to be back at 11 so I can go to work.
Oddly, she seemed like she has been every other day - the move really hasn't changed her attitude. Perhaps it's a good thing that she moved to the spare bedroom.
We did talk this morning. I did wind up appologizing for not recognizing that she just needed space and I should have just gave it to her. I didn't appologize for anything that I said though. We did wind up hugging and she asked me to crack her back.
She also mentioned that she did ask her mom to find out what weekend that the kids could stay over her house so we could go out.
I must take this for its facevalue - she needed space, she's told me that before as she said that since my awakening she feels she hasn't gotten any time alone to think. Before when I used to go to bed 2-3 hours after she did, she would use that as alone/think time. Now that we are going to bed together, she doesn't feel like she has that.
Hopefully by having some space and time to think, she will be able to work through some of her issues. I know there's is nothing that I can do to help.
I will continue to work on me and create a "safe enviornment" for her (i.e. stray cat theory).
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
