have you suggested counseling? would she go? I don't blame you, this limbo sickens anyone, if she doesn't want to go then go to C by yourself, specially since you are the one taking care of the kids. You don't have to retain a L to see one, do get at least a consultation and don't agree to anything until you see one, the alimony offer is a bad one, child support should be calculated by the amount of $ she makes, dont' shortchange yourself please.
When she is around just be yourself, dont' expect much from her nor give her longing looks, as far a possible do GAL. Hang in there.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.