Walk Away German Wife (WAGW)

[PortlandDad]

I don't really think I'm feeling empowered at the moment. I'm still a single parent raising three kids alone, with all the itinerant feelings of inadequacy that comes with it. When I say that my W practically raised the kids by herself, I am not exaggerating. I am having to learn to be a parent... definitely a silver lining to this whole sordid mess.

Yes I did flaunt an EA in front of her; an act that I have repeatedly and constantly expressed remorse and sought her forgiveness for. I cannot and will not defend my neglect of her for all those years. I am as much, or more, to blame for my sitch as my W is.

I think I'm looking at this situation as realistically as I can. My kids need me and they need me firing on all cylinders. My W is unavailable to them and me right now. Since I cannot control her actions, nor prevent her from seeing whomever she pleases, nor spending as much of her money as she has at her disposal, I must be content with controlling the things that I can: myself and my kids.

I still love my W; she is still an important person in my life, but as she currently is, she is not the person that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I will listen to her when she wants to talk; I will be here when she is ready to pick up the pieces. I am just removing those rose-colored glasses and being realistic that it might not ever happen.