No I am not ready to get the D but as I stated I was the one who filed and now I have to live with that. The hearing that is scheduled for next Friday only requires myself and my L present. H does not have to be there. He is finished with his part.
What kills me is how the D rate is so high yet no one wants to help couples try to figure out what was wrong or what it would take to fix things. I know there are M counselors and such but what I mean is you get a L....you file...you go into mediation to split everything up (nothing discussed here as to who,what,why,etc)...then you go in front of a judge for him to say you are D. No questions asked really. I get 5 whole minutes in front of this judge next week. Makes no sense but oh well...just my venting on this part of D I guess.
I intend to do everything I can when this D is final to have N/C with H. I don't think I can deal with seeing him after this. It just will not be the same to me.
He keeps trying to throw me off and keep me in this whirlwind he calls life of his. He goes from not talking to me for days....to saying things like "you are the love of my life" (playfully) and just today he reminded me AGAIN how I said I would never take him back and then in the next sentence he said he thinks it could work out between us and you never know what might happen.
I have learned to ignore all that and let it go in one ear and out the other. Just wanted to share that with ya'll.
