I agree with the fears of meeting another man pre-MLC or in MLC. I am most afraid of getting involved with someone who has treated his x wife the way my h treated me. I am sure if anyone asks he says "we grew apart" and if anyone ever says that to me I am running.
Your h sounds like he is in a good place now and can really look back at what has happened and be honest about it. I would imagine a lot come back and make reparations but don't ever really try to understand a MLC and the effect it had on them mentally and physically as well as really understand the damage they have done.
We used to get h's s every other weekend from age 6 to about 13 or so. H did his best, I think, but didn't exactly look forward to it. He really likes to do what HE wants to do and always wanted to play sports. His s wanted to play video games and watch TV. They are very different, s being a lot like his mother.
I tried to stay out of their relationship because I didn't want s to resent me and my presence during the time he had with his father. I certainly didn't try to mother him. We did become closer as he got older as I find it easier to relate to teens.
H told me after we separated that he was reconnecting with his family. They are all somewhat distant from each other. I assume he means his s as well. I have read that a lot of men in MLC push their entire family away. In my h's case, because they were already away, I guess he is trying to get them back.
I have no idea how to not take care of a man I am involved with without coming across as uncaring. I didn't smother anyone, just did the housecleaning, laundry, took care of them when they were sick, helped pick out their clothes (I'm sorry I will miss h's wardrobe when he is left to his own choices), etc. I didn't tell them what to do as that's not really my style. I don't like being told what to do and don't do it to others. My sister says that was a mistake -- I gave h so much freedom that he created a life without me.
No, you can't tell the difference when it's that cold. Should be warmer tomorrow.
Whenever I think about h losing his job, my stomach flips a little. I should get over it though because I guarantee you he would not give me a second thought if our situation was reversed. He has made it perfectly clear that he has no thoughts of me at all.
