I am sorry that you have so much on your plate right now, it all seems so overwhelming.
You asked for my advice but I will tell you in advance, you won't like it.
They are all sucking you dry, and perhaps it is time to let them go and live with their Dad. The drama they cause you is just not worth it and they are now old enough to make that choice.
If they can not follow your rules, then there has to be a consequence. They are rude, disrespectful and out of control and the older they get, the worse the situation will become.
It is time to step back and let them go.
As far as your Husband goes I don't think you have ever truly detached from the situation completely. You are still being manipulated by him and spend far too much time wondering about him and the OW, and their antics.
When are you going to put Alison first and allow yourself to have some happiness?
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
