the thing is this, you don't have to mean, resentful, angry or hurtful to the other spouse, in this case your wife.
Let her do what she wants to do because seriously you can't stop her even if you want to.
Control is an illusion, even in your own life, few people have as much control over the things they do and the things that happen to them because controlling your life to that extent requires the kind of discipline that can't be acheived overnight. It requires alot of learning, soul searching, admitting your faults, recognizing those faults, celebrating these weaknesses when you discover them because you know which areas you need to work on to improve you and not to improve you to get your wife back but to improve you to get YOU back: the sane person, the happy person, the person who is strong, the person who is fun and likes to have fun.
Personal development is a life long pursuit, not just a temporary adventure while you're trying to get the girl back.
Become the best person you can be for you and no one else. Take care of yourself, the skin you live in is the only one you're given, make sure you take good care of it.
Once you find yourself again, you will exude attractiveness not only to your spouse or ex-spouse but to yourself and others in your immediate circle of life. They will notice it, they will comment on it, others will notice too.
That is the person your spouse was attracted to before all of these problems transpired. There is no guarantee on anything in this world but you do owe it to yourself to be the best person you can be and realize more of your hidden untapped potential than you currently give yourself credit for.
I recently picked up some new clothes, a wicked great fitting pair of jeans that required no alterations and a decent looking shirt. I liked it so much I wore it out of the change room where I was shopping and told them I would wear it out the store. I paid for my clothes and as I was bending over putting my original duds into the shopping bag I was given, another lady noticed (and she wasn't half bad to look at either) and she asked the cashier if those jeans were purchased in this store, the cashier told her they were and she said "wow, they look really nice". I didn't even turn around even though I heard all of this which was loud enough for my benefit, I knew I looked good, I enjoy looking good, I make it a habit of looking good regularly now and not just for special occasions - it affects my outlook on everything. I look good, I feel good (great actually), and I act happy because I am. Focus on your self-esteem, build it up again because where it is right now is on the ground near your feet and it needs to be about a foot taller than you currently stand. Once your self-esteem is where it needs to be, once you start loving & respecting yourself properly, the actions of others will have less impact on you and even if you are dealt a blow that hurts alot, it won't affect you for days or weeks, maybe you'll be affected for a day or maybe even just a few hours or so. That's when you know you're improving, that's when you know you're taking care of yourself & growing and becoming more confident & attractive again. That's the goal and it's a personal goal, not for anyone's benefit but your own.
When the love of your life has stopped taking care of you and no longer wants to be involved in that part of your life, the only person you are left with is yourself and you realize that you should have been taking care of yourself all along.
Start doing this today. Go out for a walk, read a book, enroll in a course, go shopping, go for a workout, treat yourself to a meal, a new pair of jeans, a new haircut, a phone call from a friend, go out with friends - just do something that starts to re-capture your personal life again.
And doing all of this will allow you to stop focusing on your wife.
