Pod people is a great description and would be really funny if it wasn't so pathetic. As time goes on, I hope I am able to look back at this time and maybe laugh a little at how absurdly he has behaved. I've always had a dry sense of humour.
I don't know if I will ever get over how they read from the same script. It's shocking and even more shocking that the general medical community still doesn't believe in a MLC.
He married at 21 and the baby was born 6 months later so he was still 21. Yes, they only got married because of the pregnancy but the pregnancy was intentional, even though they had only been seeing each other for two months. She wanted to receive government assistance rather than work and having a baby is a good way to increase monthly assistance here in Canada. They were not in love with each other but both sets of parents insisted they marry. I guess h's father wanted to ensure he would have access to any children later.
We got married because we loved each other and were very very good together. We just fit so comfortably from the very beginning and I NEVER would have believed we would end up here. Of course, everyone thinks that when they are in a happy relationship.
I haven't found anything about how a MLCer might redo his/her twenties but I would imagine spending lots of time drinking with the boys and going to strip bars might be part of it. H didn't have any male friends throughout our marriage and I didn't really know why but he started almost desperately looking for guys to hang out with in the last couple of years. When we first moved into the last house in Sept 07, he was really disappointed that one of the neighbours, who was in our age range, wasn't friendlier towards him. I thought it odd at the time that is was bothering him as, really we hadn't had a chance to get to know them at all yet, but didn't really think too much about it.
He told me when I ended it that he was having a good time with his hockey buddies and having a good time with his golf buddies and wants to play hockey 4 times a week and golf guilt free, and go out drinking, etc. So he wanted to be single. That doesn't explain the quick leap into a live-in commitment with the OW but a lot does not make sense.
I had a few long term relationships (and lots of short term!!) before h and the common denominator is that I took care of all of them. That's what I am going to try to change if I ever meet someone else. I don't know why I behave this way; I knew from a fairly young age that I did not want children but somehow always played the motherly type in my romantic relationships. Never again.
It has warmed up to -24C today!
Thanks again for always taking the time to give me stuff to think about. I guess I am not getting any input from other posters because I am not "divorce busting" but rather "divorcing" and perhaps they believe I am bad luck.
