You state that if my H knew about this site he'd spend a lot of time trying to figure out which poster I was--do you mean you don't think he'd recognize himself right away from my descriptions? LOL. In that way it's a good thing they all become pod people reading from a (lousy) script, huh?
So, if your H had a child by 21, he was married by the time he was 19 or 20? Did they just get married because of the pregnancy? It's good your H did take some responsibility for his S, and regretted his first affair, because it reveals his conscience. That suggests he will regret this period in his life as well, once he straightens out his head. On the other hand, ending 2 marriages with affairs does suggest where he tends to run when he's not happy. How was he different with you than in his first marriage--did he recognize the difference?
I read on these boards that the MLCer gets stuck in the stage/stages they weren't allowed to complete when younger. So it seems your H would have to deal with the pre-teen time of abuse as well as his 20's? My H channelled being a pre-schooler sometimes, and his C pegged him at 13/14 for the rest of it. So I'm familiar with the angry and irrational teenaged thinking & behaviour, but not sure how an MLCer redoing his 20s acts differently. Did you come up with any info on that during your reading?
If you moved in together at 27, did you have earlier relationships to compare yours to? Have you thought about what you'd like any future relationships to look like? For me, finally accepting my H was involved in an EA made me reconsider how I'd been in our M, and what I wanted to change in myself and in any future R (with H or not), and it was a transformative process. Have you identified things you'd like to change?
Oooh, minus 28C yesterday. I hope that wind has stopped today! It sounds like you've got the outdoor gear to handle it, but it's not like you'd be lingering outdoors for any reason. I hope the summers out there amply make up for the winters! And how much longer till spring comes to your area? Of course, I'm making assumptions because I'm not a winter person; I hate to be cold. I hate to shovel snow. And I love being able to go for walks regularly. But I know there are lots of people whose favourite season is winter.
