Ok , so my Hubby left this morning and we had a few downs while he was here. But it was mostly ups. I have been doing very well in being feminine and also being seductive. I also did very well on being funny and bringing my sense of humor on when needed. Especially when he was going a bit dark and sullen. I had a great time with him. The days just melted together . I put away the old me for the most part. She would make occasional appearances . I would get thru it mostly w/o him ever noticing.
For me it was a lot of fun harnessing my "power" my femininity. My beauty , and my sexuality. I gave the part of me I have been keeping under lock and key for a long time. I also gave him the strong part of me that I was afraid if I showed he would "leave"
Funny, I am not afraid he will leave anymore. And by that I am not implying I think I am the cats meow and he would never leave ,, I mean he can leave if he sees fit. But I am not going to twist and bend and conform in order for him to stay.
He put his Wedding Ring on and had it on for a few days and then he took it off one day when he got angry. I am not going to ask him to wear it. I think it is important to me and I love when he wears it, but it also allows me to be "lazy' a bit in my thinking. So if he chooses to wear it again great, but for now? I am comfortable with him not choosing to wear it. I will when he comes home again in a month to work here talk about it and let him know how important it is to me and that him taking it off and on is not a sign of maturity. He says he wants me to be happy and I do believe it would make me happy {er} to see him wear a symbol of our love....…
We still have a lot of healing to do and he needs to heal on his time too. I also noticed while he was here that I was strong and outspoken. I never tried to actively cross in bitch mode but I did stand my ground. I did it w/o much thought. I held my own. He responded. He showed me a ton of respect and was acting like the man I had fallen in love with. Opening doors , and being a real Gentleman. I liked it a lot.
He joked a lot about my lack of drive and initiative. Re~ SEX.
I would just be funny and laugh and he would come back to reality. I think He may have initiated once while he was here? I did the rest of the time. He would even tell me to take it easy on him?
So I would .... It was weird to hear his excuses when he did not want to have sex. He even mentioned a few nites ago, how I got angry with him one nite.
OOPS~
He left in great spirits this morning and he even told me he was in a great mood. It was light and loving when he left. He is usually sour and grouchy. WE also made dinner for the kids last nite and we all sat down as a Family.
He will be back in four weeks and I don't think I am going to read anymore books for a bit. I honestly feel like this will just keep getting better.
He was enjoyable for most of everyday he was here. He had a great time with the kids , the even had a pillow fight. We had a fun time. He was only supposed to be here a week and he stayed 2. Now that is progress. And what I am most proud of? Not the sex or the "dancing' or my new dance I learned. Which causes him to be putty in my hands?
I am most proud of my new inner strength. My new "sense" of me. My integrity. And my new sense of COURAGE and self respect. I feel like a Million bucks. I was 100% natural. No additives or preservatives.
