It's Not Like on T.V.

[AnotherNightmare]

Your situation is definitely very common. As it is common, I do not think it is hopeless. Apparently she has not filed or anything. The "only" thing she has done so far is dropping the bomb and moving to a different room.

The interesting thing you mentioned about her was that she said she was angry. Angry at who? You? What is she blaming you for? Not letting her go? Well, to me it sounds more like she is angry at herself. There is part of her that wants to leave you, but there is also a part that is holding her back. When she decided to leave, she felt happy. Now that she realizes all the complications of that and maybe some of her feelings that put doubt in her, she feels anger directed at herself for not being able to follow through. So to me it looks like there is some hope if you find the right way of dealing with it.

So here are a few things I would suggest to you. Ignore everything she says right now. You simply do not know which part of her says it, so it is better to not let it affect you. In a way you have to let go of her. You have to let go of your anger at her, you have to be you again, the person you used to be when you met her for the first time. GAL and PMA help with that. So keep working on that. Do positive self-talk. Tell yourself how great the world is and that you will be OK no matter what. It will take some time to settle in. Do not initiate any R talk. If she does, keep it short and to the point. Do not defend yourself, but validate and acknowledge her feelings. Try to be as kind and compassionate as you can.

Hang in there. You can do this. You will be a better person at the end whether she stays or leaves. Become that better person for yourself and your kids.

AN