No it isn't all bad. Have been waiting for you to see that.

I wish I could tell you this is easy. But if it was all bad I don't think it would be easier except that maybe you would have a better idea where to start. But you are now seeing the contradictions (didn't he also say liked new job then didnt'?), the confusion, and that it isn't all about you. Who knows how much of it if any is really all about you.

So now that you have a little clarity, time to start figuring out what to do with it. You can't MAKE him change his feelings, you can't make him be happy at work. But you CAN make YOU happy, you can validate when he talks, you CAN listen, listen, and listen some more when he talks. There is so much you CAN do and see what works.

I'm a little confused about the cat thing. Did he actually do something wrong or did you check on the cats just to make sure since he didn't look like he was going to?

If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.