I haven't been on here since my D was final which was 12/08. A lot has happened since then and over time XH became a stranger to me. I could hardly believe we conceived a child together. This was my way of coping...detaching so much to the point that we only said hi to each other when he came over to watch D12. I thought I was doing ok...until I found out that he is "in a relationship" with OW.
A little background... I found out about OW about 3 years ago. Ultimately, we separated and for 2 years, while I was DBing, he was growing further from me, never any interest in making it work...so I decided to let him go and we agreed to file. One of our agreements was that if we became serious about someone, we would wait 12 months before introducing the OP to our D12. Within only 2 months of that agreement, XH was wondering if I would be flexible because he might want to introduce OW sooner. 1 month after that XH was reaching out to me and letting me know how much he appreciated me and saying how depressed he was however I set some boundaries and let him know he could no longer lean on me for emotional support...I told him I was not that person in his life any longer. I found out a couple of months later that OW was married to another man and my XH did not know. There were a lot of people involved that got hurt because of my XH and OW. I felt bad for him, but also relieved that him and OW were not together.
Now, another couple of months have gone by and I find out via Facebook that they are "in a relationship"?!?!? I have to admit, my stomach turned inside out!
And the questions return...how could 2 people hurt so many other people and not care?, how could I let OW into my D12 life...a woman who lied to so many people about so many things?, how do I trust XH judgement if he wants to be with this kind of woman? how could he want someone who has lied to him so blatantly? and he chose her over me? Would things be different if only I had let him talk to me when he was reaching out?
It makes me feel powerless again. How do I regain my positive thinking, my internal power, my trust?!?!
