Still here......

[Belle]

Ok, so I think I got my answers tonight.

For months I have been trying to not care what H is doing with OW. He told me he needed to clear his head, not confuse it more with OW.

This has lead me to believe that he is realizing his commitment, and possibly is turning away from OW. He has been communicating with me quite frequently and we have even been out on some friendly "dates".

However, last week I saw them studying at Starbucks.

So I have been on a mission to find out what's going on. (I know, know, I'm a fool - the Starbucks thing should have been enough).

But I just drove by his apartment, and of course, her car is there. At 10:30 at night. In my mind, it can only mean one thing.

Surprisingly, I am not completely upset. Perhaps in the back of my mind I always knew it was happening but was hoping it wasn't.

Now, what to do.

I have been acting all friendly to him and having basically no R talks since Aug.

I think we need to talk. (I know, I know, you all will say not to talk).

But, I am not happy with this sitch. I don't approve of his extramarital affair. If I lose him b/c I confront him with this, then so be it. It wasn't meant to be.

I am not going to make it threatening.

But I've got a clear point to make: His actions are no longer honorable. I believed he was clearing his head, but it has been 8 months. We aren't going to sit on this for years like his sister is doing. (She has been separated for at least 2 years, and is having an affair)

I don't know if I want to be with this man who has no morals and values. And so disrespectful.

I really don't know how people get over affairs! Knowing that my H has been with another woman is so awful. I was not entirely comfortable with him sexually before this and I don't see me overcoming that now that he has been with OW.

Of course, with God, all things are possible. I know that. But it is so hard to see.

Just my thoughts. Thanks for listening.