Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

Well she was much nicer yesterday.

On Sat night when we went to ice cream with D6 she was really rude and said something snippy. Before I even thought about it I made a face and kind of imitated her head movements. Then I realized and I walked away to go talk to D6. From that point on she was nice. Maybe my doing that made her realize how rude she was being. I don't know but I'm glad she isn't being so snippy anymore, it was hard to just let is slide off all the time.

I did end up asking her if she wanted to ML (I didn't use those words though) and she declined. She was very nice about it and I just said OK and didn't act disappointed and went to back to my room. She didn't act any different after.

I am feeling pretty good today, I feel up to the challenge. I did have some down moments this weekend. I had a good cry on Sunday night and felt much better. I think I should plan on doing that at least once a week to get all those feeling out that built up all week. It makes it so much easier to be optomistic when I let those feelings out.

It is really hard to be patient. I know that it will take a long time, months and months before I might see any improvement but knowing and accepting are different things. I feel like I working so hard to act "AS If" and not reacting to her but knowing that if she were ever to warm up to me it still won't be for months, it is hard to not feel discouraged sometimes.

I guess this is like a 12 step - one day at a time.

I am looking forward to some fun this weekend. W is taking DD to her family about 6 hours away for the weekend and an old friend is coming Sat and staying until Sunday. We are going to go out Sat night and have some fun and then maybe go to a new church on Sun morning I have been wanting to go to but didn't want to go alone. I am also looking forward to some quiet me time. I have a lot of projects I want to work on.