No, I get it, and I do understand, and yes your H is entitled to his fears.
And I'm really GLAD that you at least made the call to find out! Now you know that you aren't missing out on free therapy.
As for how to solve this dilemma, I'm not sure. Also, I'm not saying therapy is the only way to solve it. I'm just making a guess based on what you've said so far about your H and his fears and insecurites, that it will require therapy for him to sort it all out for himself and then to make permanent changes.
However...if you could both find a way to talk MORE and be more open....you could probably do a lot of the work by simply BEING more sexual together and opening each other up that way...by direct experience.
And one more time I will throw out there this very dismal idea....
You might find yourself on the doorstep of a divorce attorney one day, wishing you had found ANY type of way to fix this thing before it got to that point.
Think of it like that the marriage has cancer. Do you just hope it goes away? Do you do radical treatments, or less invasive ones? Do you go to a faith healer? Remember that this is not that far off of an analogy. Cancer is a silent killer. You can be happy and in love, even though you have cancer. You can be unaware of the effects it is having on you, while it is eating away at you. And yet, no matter how long you stay in denial, it is going to still be there.
Please realize too that I KNOW you two are happy and love each other. But I also know that - based on what you have already written to us - someday you are going to reach a breaking point and decide you need unbridled passion in your life....
Hang in there....wish I had a simpler answer for you....maybe others have ideas for free or nearly free types of therapy....
