HI I am having a lot of trouble letting go of OW we typically can get along but
H over yesterday we are fightning he wants to move on with oW I am making it hard b/c I dont trust her around my kids IN Mediation L got H to agree to giving SS# of OW for check as she is supposingly a newly recovering alcoholic/addict?? Im not sure if thats true as H has 20PLus years in AA but H Fights to gets closer to OW as I am fighting to prevent Kids involved in their Love Affair H denies it was a A says M was over..only I didnt know he stays in denial about any wrongs on his parts he suggested I talk to OW I said NO--I will not be her friend Now im creating more animousity with H me and OW and I will LOse this battle she has already won him he is clear about choosing her over working on this M any thought I know same issue over and over I cant seem to let go and part of me feels like I made the whole A and seperation easy breezy for H to leave and have space..
I was loving, caring, non confriontive,,now it is over,, it didnt turn out the way I thought..I thought H would return and I dont want to make everything so dam easy for H
peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Don't worry about making things "damn easy" for H, concentrate on making things easy on YOURSELF and your KIDS. All this other stuff is just clutter and cling. I know it is tough to let go, and tough to try and not care about all of the things going on with him and his new R, but for your own sake, the sake of the kids, and the sake of your business, let go.
Once you can start doing that, I promise you that you will feel oh so much better.
thanks Steve well I had another issue today with STBX
He got a cell Phone for aOW last year and put it on the business policy I told him 4-6 weeks ago when I began legally controlling the business that he had to transfer her off the plan at first he agreed and said in a few weeks
the next time I brought it up he Yelled LEAVE that phone alone so I left it till bill came today
I did make a big mistake b/c I bought S7 a phone and told him I would activate it when bill came..So I switched her line with a new # to S7 when H got home to OW, he switched it back to her legally he is wrong as the business wil/should not pay for her phone power struggle with me OW and H they won again now I dont knoe what to do but I refuse to pay for her to keep that phone and S7 phone got deactivated and hes all upset any thoughts here thansk peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
the only person responsible for the A is him, he had a brain, he should've had the guts/brain to not go that way, he didnt', the As are the easy way out of a rut.
If the cell phone is legally not meant to be used by ow then get your L involved, that is just outrageous! he should've get to do that!
Hon, you can't make him do anything, sadly, he is free to move in with ow and to introduce her to the kids, it is his life and nothing can be done to stop him from doing that. I know it is hard to realize we can't control who our kids are with, but that's the way it is now.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Can you sell the business, or ask him to buy you out? I know that sounds extreme, but it might be worth it just to get him out of your life. And not to be b*tchy, but doing so would entail actual unpleasant consequences for him. Do whatever you need to in order to preserve your sanity.
Hey Peacetoday, I'd have to agree with the prior posts. Why not get him more completely out of your life, via the house and the business, with one of you buying out the other. It is tempting to not fully let go of the rope so to speak via these attachments, but believe me, coparenting the kids will be plenty of continued contact. In most cases, thats far more than enough....
He's proven unreliable on this key issue of M. Why would he be any different in your business efforts?
Hope you and the kids are doing well.
Like you described, I waited ~ 1 year to date following the S/D and it still feels like it was a wise decision on my part. There's some much in the air right afterward.
