I wish I could 'reclaim' my Hs cell phone...but it belongs to the company he works for and the bills for it go there....so that's out. BUT I've also come to accept the fact that IF he chooses to deceive me by using the cell...then I have NO control over that. I cannot and will not live my life trying to "protect" myself from every imaginable wrangling that my H can come up with IF he's determined to 'fool me' again. I have surrender control. I have learned to tell myself that there ARE things over which I have no control and to obsess or fear them only causes ME pain.
So while I hate that damn phone and it is my arch enemy, I no longer let my fear of it's misuse own me. The BIG difference now is that my H leaves the phone out where I can see it and he's invited me to check it whenever I feel I need to in order to feel secure that it is no longer being used by anyone of whom I would not feel safe...that reassurance and invitation alone (although no real assurance since #s can be convienently deleted) has made me less intolerant of it.
Neither my H or I wear wedding rings. I threw his in the river Valentine's Day last year and I'd stopped wearing mine 20 years ago (I know, my bad). T2
