It took months, long painful months to go through all the hysterical imaginings of the relationship my H had with his 2 OWs. I'm still getting through it...but the truth is, they've lost thier sting. It's not the As that haunt me anymore, not the two women....I've writen them off as "tools of my Hs self gratification," he wasn't (or at least denies any emotional involvement with them other than a friendship that became convienently sexual too).
What I still deal with is the lies, and the deception that my H was capable of while living his secret life and the realization that he is capable of such devastating dublicity. It will take years to recover from that aspect of the As. T2
