I can tell from your posting that you must be broken right now with the D getting final. I read your last post over the weekend and wanted to send you a message ever since. Pooh, from what read, it sounds like you started the D papers but you are not ready to get D. I might be wrong about this especially since I am a DB here, but I think one should get D when one is ready, although I don't know if we're ever really ready. Not because you started the D papers, means you are forced to go through with it right now. The one thing I am sure of is that like Michele says, D doesn't the emotional pain, and you will not be emotionally D. You and your H can sign those papers next Friday but I get the feeling that things will be the same cat and mouse game. You have to do what's best for you but it seems that you are getting D with really totally DB, getting a life and detaching from your H first.
By the way, I read what you said that you've been DBing by being positive, looking your best, etc. But I don't think that is DB for our sitch dealing with infidelity. I think we are suppose to GAL, do no contact and show that we can move on with our lives, and execise patience. I think our H's as cake eaters love the attention and reassurance that we give them, even bad/negative attention like fighting, etc. And DB is about turning that attention back onto us. I think your H was playful at the bank b/c he knows he still has you hooked emotionally. I think a good dose of you detaching and doing NC would do him good.
Anyway, sending you hugs and kisses. I know too well how hard it must be. All the best.
