It's good that you don't post over the weekend and I totally agree about your h not knowing about it. He would likely either think it very silly or spend a lot of his time trying to figure out which poster you are.
My childhood home is still standing but it's about 30 miles from here. Mom usually just walks in one direction until she gets tired and then goes into a drug store and straight to the pharmacist for help. She wears a bracelet so the police have her "profile" as well as our contact info. The cold here is obviously a huge issue during the winter months.
My h's job has definitely caused our marriage nothing but trouble and while I don't think it was a trigger for his MLC, it certainly enabled his bad behaviour. He always played hockey a couple of times per week and I had no issue with him going out for beers afterwards but the old h never went to strip bars for lapdances. He always golfed whenever he could afford to but this job enabled him to buy a very expensive membership which he then had to justify by golfing every sat and sun, rain or sun.
When he started drinking again in 2006 and going out with clients and/or coworkers I could not really object. I remember telling the counsellor last Feb that the more he went out the more likely it was that he would cheat on me. Of course, fool that I am, he already was. Already setting the pattern of being out most nights during the week made it very easy to hide the affair. It also made it easy for him to tell me that he was bored with our life because I never wanted to go out. The fact that he was always out with other people, in situations where I could not join in, seemed to escape him.
I think he liked the job because it was in a high-profile area of the financial industry, although he was under a lot of stress. The stress was mostly, to my mind, self-induced because he had what my sister calls "imposter syndrome" in that he didn't think he really deserved it. He certainly liked the money and would not listen to me when I tried to tell him that his health and happiness were more important. It also seemed to make him a little arrogant and entitled and I was not happy about that.
I think he was a typical teenager in spite of his family circumstances. He appeared to have a lot of friends and was successful with the girls although initially shy.
He had a child when he was 21 and the marriage ended because he was unfaithful, although I am quite sure that it would have ended anyway because they did not love each other. That said, it is no excuse for his behaviour and he always expressed remorse that he did that. Funny because he has no remorse for cheating on me.
He took his son's mother to court for visitation knowing that it meant he would be paying child support for the next 18 years. She had never tried to get support and likely would not have because that meant a reduction in government assistance. As a result, h lived pretty much pay-to-pay through his twenties until he moved in with me at 27. At that time, I asked him to only pay half the rent and I covered the rest of our expenses. I think that his inability to really enjoy his twenties, as most young men do, might have been a problem. I certainly did my best, spending a lot of money going out for dinner/drinks most nights during the week as well as weekends that we didn't have his son, but I guess it's not the same as when you're a single guy.
So while he always appeared to be financially responsible and is actually a little cheap, maybe it was only because he had no money. Now he has no money again because this divorce and his bad choices have left him with a substantial debt. It's all very sad and unnecessary.
It is -28 Celius with the windchill here today. That's -18ish Fahrenheit. Russian fur hat, down-filled coat and sheepskin boots for me today!
