Your H has untapped potential. He is currently hidden behind a curtain, due to whatever insecurities or issues he has. But lets pretend for a moment we could whisk away that curtain.
*MAYBE* you would find out that within himself, he has a fantasy of forcefully taking you against your will and having his way with you?
*MAYBE* you would find out that he is seething with desire and wishes to be led into a new and fantastic sort of love life?
*MAYBE* you would find out that everything you've ever wanted is right there inside of him?
You don't really know and he doesn't really know, because he hasn't been set free (from his demons) to really try things out.
You haven't mentioned the sex therapy thing on here lately, unless I've missed it. Have you brought that up to him yet? What steps have you taken?
Lucky, I get sad for people around here when they stop TALKING to each other about the problem. Because I know from experience that the only way I may have saved my previous marriage is if I would have forced the issues one way or another, to a point of resolution. Not talking about it gave us the relief of not having to deal with difficult issues at that time. But guess how much MORE difficult a divorce is?
I'm afraid that you are retreating into yourself instead of forging ahead, talking with him, pushing the envelope, and standing up for your sexuality. I'm afraid that you have basically dropped the subject with him while you are telling yourself that things are getting better.
But again...he is an untapped quantity....*what if* you got him into sex therapy and a whole new, wild, caveman full of sexuality emerged?? Isn't it worth the risk of trying it at least?
I am always beating on the drum saying "TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE, THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO FIX THIS"....because I see too many times that not talking about problems = death to marriage.
