A Navy Wife's Creed

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

SMW,

I just caught up with your threads....I read the beginning of your sitch and the last few threads (so I am sure I missed some critical facts in the middle). But, I wanted to share my perspective on your sitch.

Yeah, you missed some stuff, but for the most part you hit the important things--how desperate I was and hopefully how I have grown since then.

In my opinion (and I believe God is affirming this in you), you are an amazing woman who is as committed to God as any human can be. I am sure you have moments of doubt and pain that seem insurmountable...but, you have found the ONLY key to unlock your potential....turning it over to God! I don't know what God's timing is for your H's return (I mean spiritually...not physically)....but, I believe that you are in exactly the place that you need to be so that you will be there when he returns.

This part made me cry, FH, and I thank you for the affirmation! Yes, there are moments of doubt and pain, where the tears flow hot and wrenching. I miss my DH, my best friend. Yesterday was a huge step forward through the pain when I was able to put the demon of the OW firmly in perspective and realized that she and the stronghold of adultery have no power over me anymore. God has helped me get to this point and I cannot tell you how freeing it was to be able to let that go. I know it is not a complete healing, that I have only really started peeling back the layers, but with God's strength I will be able to fully overcome.

I was also glad to see that you read "Love and Respect" a few weeks ago. This book was second only to the Bible in helping me see how God intends for us to treat our spouses. More than anything the notion of stopping the downward spiral we create was a powerful one. I was also greatly moved by "Fireproof" even though it came out over 1 year after our restoration began. I watched it alone....because there are still moments in the depths of my own sitch that I find too painful to share with anybody. I see them now as wonderful trials that have borne amazing fruit both in my personal development and in my marriage...but, I also feel that God wants me to move forward.

I have not finished Love and Respect yet, but it has already made an impact in how I see the dynamics at work in my marriage. My Bible is still my greatest source of comfort--that and the teachings from Rejoice Marriage Ministries. For a time, I felt like life was at a standstill due to the deployment. Now, I see it as just a point in time to be worked through, helping me to have the needed time to grow and rediscover who I am in Christ.

Fireproof hit me hard. I went to see it at the theater two weekends in a row with two different friends. both of them gained a better understanding of me and what I was doing, which helped them to become more supportive of my choices. After my D17 watched it, she also seemed to have finally understood, too.

Another great book that helped me through was "How You Can Save Your Marriage Alone" by Ed Wheat. I also read everything I could get my hands on by John Eldredge. I highly recommend "Captivating", "Waking The Dead", and "Sacred Romance".

I have not heard of any of these books, but I plan on checking them out, especially the Ed Wheat book. Thank you so much for the recommendations!

I want to close with your own words from a couple of weeks ago....which showed me EXACTLY where you are! Your H will be blessed to have you in his life!

I cannot begin to explain the peace I feel most days, knowing that I am living to serve Him and in the process becoming the wife, mother, and woman that He has planned for me to be all along.

This part also made me cry. I love my husband, more so now that I have been growing in the Lord than I have at any other time in my marriage. A year ago I would have never thought it would be possible. I was in so much pain and did not know where to go or where to turn to find comfort from the pain. Little did I realize that the source for that comfort and guidance would come from my Heavenly Father and his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. I now know to turn to him first instead of as a last resort. I had to go back through my threads to see where I had written what you copied from my post. I have become so enmeshed in the Lord, that I could not remember when I had become so confident in the power of the Lord. I know, for me, it has been good to look back to the beginning and see where I am now.

Please keep checking on me. The end of deployment is approaching and there will be new challenges to face. I am not sure what DH's plans are for afterward as far as spending time with the kids and at the house. I am going to pull up your old threads and read what I can about your situation. I have always been so touched by your spiritual understanding and position when I have read your posts to others. Thank you for taking me on.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW