Thanks, Kai, my weekend was nice (though too short). I tend not to post over the weekend, because I'm spending time with the family (plus I'd rather my H never know about this site). I hope you and the cats made out okay? And that you kept up the eating and looking after yourself....
Oh, that's wretched, waking up at 4. I remember so many months of that, feeling so wide awake (and "back in it") I couldn't even bear to lie in bed any longer. It does, as you say, get better over time, but then time seems to slow down, too, when our lives turn upside down. Perhaps the time change next week will mean you get an extra hour of sleep? Not that that theory ever really works for my kids!
Oh, your poor mom! Thank goodness you know where she's headed when she escapes, but how sad for her. Is your childhood home still standing, if she was to make it there? I guess it's a blessing she's spending most of her mental time back in happier eras, though that's scant comfort.
It's funny how the MLCer's issues first seem to manifest in his connection to his job. Things started to go wrong for us, too, when my H accepted a promotion that meant he'd have to travel/be at an office in another city regularly. I soon began to hate that job, because he became unable to put his family before it. His self-esteem became caught up in pleasing his (never satisfied) bosses. He couldn't say no to them, and he couldn't seem to hear my complaints that our family life was suffering.
Once the MLC began, he used work as an excuse to spend all his nights in the other city, going out drinking, meeting with the OW, and other Replay activities. He also hated work, complained a lot about it, and wasn't a very productive employee for a few years. Then, once he hit Depression and Withdrawal, he buried himself in work again. I think it saved him, by giving him a focus, a reason to get out of bed when he just wanted to smash his car into a tree, a sense that he was accomplishing something, and a distraction from his demons. Now, post MLC, he's reached the point I really wanted him to be at in the first place: he puts his family before his job, stands up to his bosses sometimes (and recognizes how manipulative they are), genuinely regrets any (infrequent) overnights away, and keeps up a dialogue with me about work.
All that to say, I feel bad for your ex, too, because he's lost his most valuable prop in getting through the time ahead. Many guys do seem to identify themselves through their jobs, so if he's never going to get such a good one again....
You sure handled dividing up the finances wisely--you're a natural for that Paralegal course! What a relief to be immune from his job loss. Was he relatively careful with money before he went alien? Also, was he able to be a typical teenager the first time round? You mentioned once him being like a 21-year old roommate; do you think that's the period in his life he's doing over?
Has the freezing weather ended over there? I hope the sun is shining and that your day is going well. Any nice plans for the week?
