We had a nice weekend, but I was feeling a bit sick (a cold) and exhausted. I was also in a bit of a funk because I realize that I'm paralyzed in a cooking/eating, exercise like a fiend, never lose weight place. I know it should be simple. Just eat less and the weight will come off eventually, but in the meantime just accept and love yourself and find your sexy within. I'm just not happy with my weight, and I'm mad at myself for how hard it is for me to stop eating. I'm not gigantic, but I'm not where I want to be. I think it's important that I do something about it so I can feel better. How ridiculous that this is an issue at all. Why can't I get control over it? That's part of the funk I was in. I kept thinking about your post ("get over it") and wishing I could swallow it down and have it become a part of me. What am I resisting? I'm not sure.
H was folding laundry last night. He came up from behind while I was doing dishes, and kissed my neck. He had glassy eyes. He said "I love you, and I love our life no matter how hard it gets with money and everything." He said that he was folding the baby's clothes and then all of my crazy socks (I wear fun socks for the baby), and it made him happy.
This morning, he was groping me and kissing me passionately when he was leaving. He asked if I'm feeling better and I told him I am.
Seems that focusing on my own issues has minimized my focus on our sex life. I have to be careful about getting too wound up in my head!
