Well...what is your husband MORE afraid of: losing you or a losing a potential new girlfriend? This isn't the "love of his life" he's talking about it's the thought of a fun romance with someone he's just met.
Sorry, he's still in full MLC. Doesn't sound like values you or respects you enough to want to treat you decently. He's still about weighing his options and having no restrictions put on him.
And, Kissak, does he think he'll ever really lose you? If you've always been there, always loving and forgiving he knows he can screw this other woman, string you long for another 6-12 months and you'll take him back.
Hard question: have you really done the "get a life" DB program. In other words are you the stong, fun, independent, sexy, beautiful, mysterious woman who doesn't need you husband to be happy, yet is irresistible and fun to be with? Have you shown him by your actions and life that if you move on he'll be the one to lose out?
I know what I'm saying is harsh, but that's what divorce-busting is all about. It's not easy. And most of us here can't seem to do it, (me included). Chances are you are the same person you were when this all started. And you know what?....that's the person he's not attracted to. It's all about attraction. Can you attract him back? Yes or No?
By the way ther person you are is fine. And most of us DB men would kill to have someone like you.
If you can't attract him, then the only thing you can do is set boundaries and ultimatums, which in some sense is attractive, because it tells him you value yourself enough not to be treated poorly. Being a doormat is not attractive. Showing him you can move on might be the 180 you need to get his attention.
Look, hun, we can't all knock their socks off and radically transform ourselves into passionate, self-confident, sexy people. If you can, then it's your best shot. And even then there are no guarantees. The next bext shot is show some backbone.
