I would want my H to grow up and make a change and want to give me all of him. I would want my family back together again. I would want to trust him.
Honestly, dont see that happening....so, maybe I should just wish for some other man to come and wisk me away to love me more than my H ever has.
I dont know. H is already sucking me back in or trying to atleast. He started texting me yesterday afternoon, I guess he stood it as long as he could. I hadnt talked or texted him since he left tkd on Saturday evening and only then I answered his text that said to "Drive Safe". He texted me 3 times and then called the house cuz i didnt answer. Didnt answer the house phone in time either. So he called my cell. I answered. He wanted to know how come I werent answering his texts, that he had sent 5, 10, or 15 messages. Uhm, ok it was 3 messages. They said "just wanted to say hi since your not talking", "are you not talking?" and "guess your not".
Ugh! So I was nice and "talked" to him, just to shut him up! He then preceeded to wanna text me the rest of the day. About the kids and what I was doing and etc. etc. I thought he would have been at his new girlfriends house all day. But he wasnt. Dont know, dont care. So, again this morning he is still texting me. I try to stay short and only answer those that need answering.
I have no idea what this man is doing. I dont know why he doesnt leave me alone. And I have a problem in being mean and saying I dont want to talk to him at all, cuz thats not true. I do want to talk to him. He keeps saying he is glad that i dont hate him, I told him I do not hate him, I hate what he did.
And I know he does still care about me. I have no doubt about that. None what so ever. He is just messed up in the head and only feels comfortable when he is in the black or white areas. Our marriage is the gray and he cant be there. I have a feeling that the feelings would have to come back to him for me, while we are in the black or white areas for him.
What I hate now is that we are eligable for divorce in April. I wonder if he will file. He will have the money then.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
