Sooner, I wouldn't put a whole lot of faith in his "word" about the house payment. He's controlling you and your family by holding the money hostage...notice how he said that as long as he doesn't have any problems with you.... What does he expect you to do? It sounds to me like he wants to be able to do whatever he wants and you not interfer. I'm with you...you need something in writing. There's no way that I would continue on this way for a long period of time. You just don't know what might set him off to view things differently.
I wouldn't say another word to him about working it out. He knows that you are there for him. As far as leaving the door ajar...do that, but don't say another word to him. To him, your comments are holding him back and he thinks he wants to move on and he can't do that if he thinks you are still there for him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
