Matilda, I did let my W know that I went to the venue. She told me that she changed her mind and went elsewhere. She said that she didn't have the energy to dance that evening.
She left on Friday evening with a gentleman that she invites into our home, and who I have casual conversation with. He has a degree in animal nutrition, and has given us advice on raising my sheep puppy dog. He is part of the dance community. My W has been showing-up at venues with him.
Our marital troubles are public to some extent in the dance community. I believe people who know us as a couple, wonder why I'm dancing lately without my W. The ballroom community doesn't know us as well, so I'm not as self-conscious there.
I go to venues where I think I'm needed, and where I am likely to find ladies to dance. I went out again on Saturday night to the dance studio where I take lessons. I was needed and was able to network on a smaller scale.
My W returned on Sunday afternoon. I was cooking for the PT job. She got angry about the dirty dishes, and in her haste to clean, knocked over the blender and broke the glass pitcher. She's now threatening to discontinue the cooking job.
We'll see what this week brings. I rotate amongst books Mars & Venus, DB, and Radical Acceptance. I also listen to Tara Brach podcasts. My IC is on Friday. I plan on dancing at least once during the week, and twice on the weekend, with a lesson on Thursday. I write at least 1/2 hour daily and a little more on the weekends.
I'm trying to ride the emotional waves without judgment or reactivity. I understand that acceptance means that I let go of the desire to control my W's actions or decisions. I understand that life isn't feeling good all the time.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
