It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[sandycay]

Hi Sandycay,

I've never read your situation or posted to you, but I happened upon your new thread here and read what you posted. I was the one that had the affair in my relationship.

I'd like to support you in having patience with your H. I can tell you that it took me quite a while to get past those feelings I had for the OM. I can't even hardly explain it- OM was divorced, jobless, did drugs, had major anger issues, preyed on my vulnerabilities, lacking in parenting skills, had loser friends, etc. Yet, I couldn't get him off my mind. I would think of specific things that made me feel special and beautiful. I knew life with OM would be horrible, but I loved those specific things he did. How selfish I was to go to another person so that I could have ALL my needs met and didn't work with my OWN husband until I got them from him. My H is more than the OM could EVER be.

I tell you that, because your H is more than likely feeling the same as me. The longer he is away from her, the more she will leave his mind/thoughts. I love my H. Do I sometimes think about OM? Yes. But, I love my H, and I don't think the same way as I did before. Don't let this stop your love for your H. Don't think you are sharing his heart with her.....she is not real, and he knows this. It was fantasy love. He loves YOU. He made the worst mistake of his life with HER, and he is paying for it and he knows it. I'd suggest to tell him to stop sharing his thoughts of OW with you, and to have him stop the thoughts everytime they come up.


WDID

Thanks for the advice WDID... I appreciate your insight from his side.... sometimes my "emotions" get in the way of being able to do that