Wife had breakfast and dinner with us today. This is no doubt the result of a phone call I made the other night in which I essentially acknowledge my former ignorance of how to understand women and to meet my wife's needs. I had been reading an e-book I downloaded called 'The Truth About Women' By David Wood.
Anyway, I just let her know what I was learning and how I was feeling about it. How it saddened me that I had tried to make her communicate her needs in a way I wanted her to communicate them (ie: directly) instead of just giving in and becoming an expert at understanding her way of communicating (indirectly) and finding out her needs.
The conversation went well but it did open a can of worms. W shared that she had trust issues not only with me, but with any relationship she might have. Told me how angry she was with me and that she felt I had controlled her.
The conversation unveiled why she had melted down recently: my concern over her well being the night D and I had gone to the circus and had not heard from her, and called her parents to see if they had heard from her felt like control to her, regardless of my intentions. I let her know I wouldn't do that again. . So that is why she went ballistic later! That is easy enough to avoid from here on.
In general, I wasn't really prepared for all of that and I had to choose my words carefully to avoid triggering an explosion/meltdown.
Overall, I feel it was a healing conversation. I had not really wanted to talk about our relationship, just to mention what I was learning and some regrets about how I had not learned it sooner.
At one point I said that I was pretty sure I could not do this perfectly (this new way of communicating), and she said that she did not expect me to be perfect......wow....!
Sounded like she was toying with the idea of us getting back together? Maybe.
Anyway, as I said, she had breakfast and dinner with us today and when she left with our D I told her I had enjoyed having her over.. She said she had enjoyed being here !
And the winding saga continues.....
Last edited by native; 03/02/0906:02 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
