Oh Amy, your post touched me. It was so raw and real. I do not know your whole story, but I think I know enough.

I think you have to forgive yourself before he can forgive you completely. I think you have to trust yourself before he can trust you completely.

He wants so much to be able to feel safe with you. He wants reassurance, I think, that you really who you seem to be, that you are not going anywhere.

You are right, I think, to just let him lead. I hope he takes you where you both want to go. I think you both deserve it.