No attorney that I know of, I don't know if she would tell me if she had met with one.
And you are right - needy clingy and scared is a good description of how I feel. I know I have to change that. My self-esteem is at an all time low, and I can't figure out how to raise it, but I continue to fake it as best I can.
I'm not as freaked out about our conversation as I was yesterday when I posted, which was right after she left. My mind was reeling then, but after thinking it over for a while I realize that I sprung the whole "lets do something as a family, for S11 sake" and she reacted by digging her heels in .... she already told me she was "done" when we are in MC last month, so she's really not saying anything new.
Looking at the interaction objectively, I realize I was testing the waters, trying to get some reassurance that things were moving in the right direction. She confirmed that nothing had changed, and she wasn't willing to even give a hint of that.
So I'm back to square one. Serves me right for not following the rules, but I guess backsliding is part of the process. I've got to learn from this, not make the same mistake again, and get back to DBing.
