you will have ups and downs. My H still makes me want to pull my hair out, cry, scream, and a whole bunch of other things once in a while. So does MT's.
Just keep plugging along. Minute by minute until it becomes hour by hour then day by day.
The counselor is probably right but to be honest, I think you need to be really careful right now. Too much info, too much emotion, too much trying will make him run. Communication comes in all forms. I think for the first month, H and I said hello and goodnight. That was it. Then it was a little more but not much. Then a whole bunch of talking, agreements, then normal behavior which sent him running for the hills for about two weeks. We keep it simple right now. Most days. It just seems to make him more comfortable, me too to be honest. Then every once in a while something small and important will pop out. Neither of us are avoiding by any means but it sort of makes it easier to let a little come out and then we sit with it and process and then the next thing comes out and more processing. It took us months and months to get here though. And I'm not even being cautiously optimistic of anything other than we don't want to kill each other LOL.
So take your time. That is the best advice I can give you. And expect and accept that you will go up and down and as time passes, you will see it happening less and less.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
