Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing

[Thinker]

After a lot of introspection, IC, etc, I have a couple of things that I really would like to say to my W, but which I haven't yet because 1) It violates the no R discussion rule and 2) I am not sure how she would react.

I would like to tell her.
1) I am really sorry for the hurt and abandonment that she felt during the early years of our M. That I have reviewed those years through a different viewpoint, and can now see how she must have felt, and I am sorry for it.

2) I forgive her for the EA (I do) and although it was painful, I am no longer obsessing over it or even thinking about it that often (true).

I know that if I don't open up the subject and start the discussion, it will never come up. My W just does not start R discussion with me - she never has unless forced by something outside of her control - a MC session for example. Otherwise she will keep everything superficial, keep a small smile on her face, and keep her feelings to herself (or discuss them only with friends).

I do want her to know these things, but don't want to start or force the discussion.

Any advice??